# FLAMER · THE 8+ PROGRAM (builder O) · audit + upgrade scripts ## AUDIT (27 Oct, from ix_film strips; sheets in /Volumes/Workspace/Scratch/O/audit/.jpg) 26 built kills, honest scores BRUT / CINE / SCRIPT / DETAIL. Averages 5.9 / 5.4 / 7.5 / 4.8. Nothing is at 8 on all four. Worst first: ROLLOVER 5/4/7/4 · WHICH WAY IS UP 3/5/8/4 · TOASTED 5/5/7/4 · AIR POCKET 5/5/8/4 · COOK-OFF 6/5/7/4 · THE PUGILIST 6/5/7/5 · STEPPING STONE 6/5/8/4 · MOLTEN RAIN 6/5/8/4 · THE URN 6/5/7/5 · BURNING BRIDGES 6/5/7/5 · WET SHOT 6/5/7/5 · FLASH IN THE PAN 6/5/7/5 · POACHED 6/5/8/5 · TERRACOTTA 6/5/8/5 · MIRAGE 6/5/8/5 · BACKDRAFT 6/5/8/5 · TORCHED 6/6/7/5 · AFTERBURNER 6/6/7/5 · WELL DONE 6/6/7/5 · JERKY 6/6/8/5 · WICKER GIANT 6/6/8/5 · VIKING FUNERAL 6/6/8/5 · BRAZEN BULL 6/6/8/5 (23.7 s, over the cap) · NO CAPES 6/6/8/5 · NAPALM 7/6/7/6 · GRASSFIRE 7/7/8/5. Not built (16): 6 skins (AEROSOL, WILL-O'-THE-WISP, HOT SEAT, FROSTFIRE, FLAME TEST, THE PHOENIX) and 10 mids: scripted to the 8+ bar from scratch in later batches. ### What drags every flamer kill down (fix once, in the kit) 1. THE BURN LOOK. FL.burnFlesh paints red ovals and pale fang-shaped "sloughing sheets" on every limb: at XT it reads as teeth and blobs, not burnt flesh. Every XT is a cluttered close of a dark body with red dots (DETAIL 4-5, BRUT capped at 6). 2. DARK, LOW-CONTRAST FRAMES. Fire is the light source, but most shots are dim blue rooms with a small figure. 3. THE FINALS ARE CLOSES OVER THE RECAP. The XT close fills the frame with an unreadable shape; the anatomy never reads. 4. THE MIDDLE IS MEDIUM SIDE TWO-SHOTS. Few inserts, no speed ramps, no angle changes at the beats that matter. ### FLAMER BURN LADDER v2 (shared, built on A's burn painter when it lands; every flamer kill uses it) A per-region burn that reads from across the room and holds up at 800 px: - XT (full thickness, very extreme): CHAR CRUST: matte black plates with a crackle pattern, glowing ember fissures between the plates that cool to dark red; SLOUGH: skin peeling away in translucent sheets with curled, darker edges, hanging and swaying, wet pink under them; DEGLOVING: the skin of the hands slides off like gloves and hangs from the wrists; BONE at the extremities: fingertips, shins, the cheekbone and jaw (the face burnt to the skull on one side: teeth through the burnt cheek); MUSCLE at the joints where the skin splits: red striated fibres, white tendon cords; FAT: yellow beads bubbling and spitting in the cracks; COOKED EYES: milky, lidless, no pupil; LIPS burnt back off the teeth; HAIR / HEADGEAR burnt to stubble and smoking; airway SOOT FROTH at the nostrils and mouth; smoke curling off the body. The pugilistic posture (fists drawn up, elbows and knees flexed) where it fits. - VH: the same anatomy with less area: char plates on the limbs, slough sheets, the face burnt with cooked eyes, no bone. - H: deep partial burns: blistered red skin with burst white blisters, soot, singed hair, the real dead face, no slough. - M: soot-black skin and smouldering clothes, X eyes, smoke. - L: a sooty cartoon, smoking, hair frizzed, alive and dazed (dazed58). VL: singed, alive, patting out, dazed. - Hand-drawn with bold shapes (cheap); the static crust is baked once per body (cached), only the embers, slough sway and smoke animate. ### Camera rules for the batch Each block lists its shots. The cinema-kit devices are spread thin on purpose: across the 42 flamer kills about one in four or five uses one device, never two of the same in a row. This batch: a 2-way split (WHICH WAY IS UP), a dolly zoom (ROLLOVER), a PiP insert (TOASTED), a rack focus (AIR POCKET), a 9-way split filling cell by cell (COOK-OFF), a freeze-frame stamp (THE PUGILIST). Every final: the victim big, rim-lit by the fire, the XT held a full second before the recap card, nothing cluttering the face. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ## BATCH 1 (worst six) · upgrade scripts for approval ### 1. ROLLOVER · MYTHIC · sunken lab · Fida · audit 5/4/7/4 → target 8/9/8/8 Keep: the fire rule (stay low; she climbs high). Replace: the dark, unreadable middle and the generic XT. The real phenomenon, told clearly: the smoke layer comes down like a ceiling, the fire rolls across its underside, then the whole layer ignites at once. HOOK 0.0: tank 1 sweeps the flooded lab floor; the fuel floats and burns in islands that light the room orange; she runs for the ladder and climbs to the high deck, away from the fire. Faris doesn't follow: he crouches. BEATS: - 1.4 THE LINE: black smoke pools under the ceiling and starts coming DOWN like a slab, a hard edge crawling down the wall past a hazard stencil (KEEP LOW). She's above it; she backs up the deck to the top. - 2.4 the canister swap low in the clean air; Faris lies flat on the grating, cheek on his arm, breathing easy. (Their faces cut together: hers in the black, coughing, eyes streaming; his calm, below the line.) - 3.4 she chokes; an x-ray insert of her lungs greying with soot (kept, smaller, a corner PiP). - 4.2 THE ROLL: thin tongues of flame start rolling along the underside of the smoke, from the far wall toward her. DOLLY ZOOM on her face (the room stretches behind her) as the ceiling above her lights. - 4.8 ROLLOVER: the whole smoke layer ignites in one wave across the frame (speed ramp to 25 % on the wave front passing her, then back to full). She's inside it: the shirt goes, the hair goes, she screams fire. - 5.6 she falls from the deck through the burning layer and hits the flooded grating in the burning fuel; hiss, steam, she tries to crawl to Faris's clean air; 6.6 she stops a body length from him. SHOTS: a wide of the burning floor islands; low on Faris crouching; the hard smoke edge crawling down the wall (a locked shot); cross-cut faces above / below the line; the corner lung PiP; the dolly zoom; the wave as a side wide at 25 %; the fall from below; low along the grating to her reaching hand; the finals. GORE LADDER (burn ladder v2): XT: low at her face on the grating, rolled 10°: the face burnt to the skull on the cheek with the teeth through it, lips gone, eyes cooked milky, soot froth bubbling at the mouth and nose, the hand reaching toward Faris degloved, the skin hanging from the wrist like a glove over the finger bones, char plates with ember fissures down the arm, fat spitting where the fuel still burns around her. VH: from above the deck rail looking down: her body on the grating in a ring of burning fuel, slough sheets on the arms, the burnt face turned up, no bone. H: re-staged on her back half-submerged in the shallow water, steam rising off her, blistered red skin, the real dead face. M: face down in the fuel, soot-black, smouldering, X eyes. L: the layer ignites as she drops to the deck floor: she lies flat under it, sooty, hair frizzed, alive, dazed, Faris tutting. VL: she drops into the floor water before the roll: alive, coughing, singed. DETAIL PLAN: the smoke layer as a dark slab with a turbulent underside and a hard edge (baked shape, scrolling noise); flame tongues as bold two-tone shapes on its underside; the burning fuel islands with reflections in the water; the lab set lit by the fire (warm on the near faces, cold blue behind); her hair burning off in a bright fringe; the degloved hand drawn large at XT; steam where she hits the water. ≤ 15 s; perf: the wave is one big shape, not particles. ### 2. WHICH WAY IS UP · EPIC · the Deep · Nitha · audit 3/5/8/4 → target 8/8/9/8 Keep: the hook (blind in the silt she swims DOWN sure it's up) and the cold dark as the killer (no line, no pressure, no wax, no floor; no limbs snapping off: ar, revolver, ice and beam own that). Replace: the bloodless blue-bubble XT and the murky frames. The light is the story: in the abyss the only light is her own life-glow (the game lights every living fighter in the deep), and it fades as she freezes. HOOK 0.0: tank 1 into the sand between them: the steam boils the silt into a brown-out. She's scalded in it (steam blisters on her face and hands), blind, tumbling. BEATS: - 1.0 WHICH WAY IS UP: a 2-WAY SPLIT: LEFT "what she sees", the silt clearing toward a faint light, so she swims for it; RIGHT "the truth", the same moment from outside, her heading straight down into the black hole under the reef, the faint light being her own glow on the silt. The split closes on the RIGHT side. - 2.2 she kicks hard, sure; her bubbles rise past her feet the other way (she doesn't see them). - 3.0 the canister: Faris swaps at the lip; the spent canister sinks past her into the dark; she follows it, thinking it's rising. - 4.0 THE COLD: her glow dims; frost feathers across her skin from the fingertips; the steam blisters freeze into white beads and split; her fingers blacken (necrotic frostbite) and the nails split. - 5.4 she screams: the face, half frozen, cracks: the cheeks split in deep red fissures as she opens her mouth. - 6.2 her eyes ice over in a starburst fracture; the last bubble leaves her lips and freezes as a ball on them; her strokes lock. - 7.0 the glow goes out. In the dark, one last frame of her lit by Faris's pilot light far above her, looking down the wrong way. SHOTS: handheld in the brown-out; the 2-way split; a long vertical tracking shot down beside her (she's the only light); an insert on the spent canister passing her face; extreme closes on the fingers blackening and the blisters freezing (a match cut from her hand to her face as the frost reaches it); the scream close as the face cracks; the last-bubble insert; the glow-out on a wide. GORE LADDER: XT: an extreme close on her face in the last of her glow, upside down: the cheeks split open in deep fissures down to the red cheekbone and teeth, blood frozen in them like red glass, lips frozen and split to the gums around the frozen bubble, eyes iced white with starburst fractures and frozen burst vessels, the steam blisters frozen to split white beads across the forehead, the blackened fingers raised to the frame edge, shrivelled with the nails split off. VH: re-staged on the black hole's lip, a hand-drawn insert of her hands huge in the frame: black necrotic fingers split to raw flesh at every knuckle, the frost bloom up the forearms, her frozen face small beyond. H: frozen mid-stroke in the void, the real dead face, white frost on the lashes, no splits. M: frozen mid-stroke, pale, X eyes. L: she sees her own bubbles at the last moment, turns, and bursts up into the cave gasping, blue-lipped, shivering, dazed. VL: she bumps the reef roof, realises, and swims up: alive, coughing silt. DETAIL PLAN: her life-glow as a soft radial light that shrinks and dims (the scene's only light); frost as growing fern patterns (baked branches revealed by a mask); fissures as crisp crack paths with red wet cores; the frozen bubble with a refraction highlight; silt as a few big soft clouds; the canister detailed. ≤ 15 s. ### 3. TOASTED · EPIC · kitchen · Nitha · audit 5/5/7/4 → target 8/8/8/8 Keep: tiny in the giant kitchen, she hides in the toaster. Replace: "browned crisp, not burnt": the payoff must be horrific. HOOK 0.0: she runs along the counter and drops into the far slot of a giant toaster; peeks over the rim, grinning. BEATS: - 1.4 Faris climbs onto the toaster and turns the browning dial all the way to DARK (a PiP INSERT of the dial clicking past each number, held in the corner through the next beats). - 2.0 CLICK: the lever down; the carriage drops her into the slot. - 2.4 INSIDE THE SLOT (her POV and a side cutaway): the elements wake, dull red to orange to white, a grid of glowing wires on both sides of her, too close to move between. Tank 1 down the other slot for extra heat. - 3.2 her shirt scorches in a grid; she presses away from one side into the other; the wires brand her front and back. - 4.4 the smoke alarm; fat drips off her onto the crumb tray and spits. - 5.0 POP: the toaster fires her up and out (speed ramp, slow at the top of the arc). - 5.6 she lands stiff on the counter and SNAPS in two at the waist like dry toast, the crisp shell cracking open on the cooked inside. SHOTS: a wide of the giant counter; the grin over the rim; the dial PiP; the lever in close; the inside-slot POV with the wires glowing; the side cutaway (the toaster in section) as the grid brands her; the crumb tray insert; the pop as a slow-motion arc; the landing snap in close; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low on the counter at her face, rolled: the grid of the elements branded deep into her face and chest, the burnt lines down to the white bone on the cheekbone and the ribs, the crisp skin crazed and lifting between them, lips shrunk back off the teeth, eyes cooked white; the two halves apart, the break showing the cooked inside in layers (dry browned muscle, a band of yellow fat, the spine snapped in the middle), crumbs and charred flakes round her. VH: a top-down insert of the two halves on the counter beside the toaster, the grid brand across both, the cooked cross-section facing up, her dead face at the edge. H: re-staged slumped over the slot rim, half out, a dark brown crust, the grid in red, the real dead face. M: popped out whole, brown and smoking, X eyes. L: popped out lightly toasted, golden, steaming, dazed, a crumb in her hair. VL: the toaster's on DEFROST: she climbs out lukewarm and sneezes. DETAIL PLAN: the toaster as a real object (chrome with reflections, the dial numbers, the slot interior with the element wires and mica cards); the brand lines baked into her body texture in a grid; crust craze; the cooked cross-section drawn as an illustration (layers, spine); fat drips and spits on the tray; crumbs; steam. ≤ 15 s. ### 4. AIR POCKET · LEGENDARY · the Deep · Hiba · audit 5/5/8/4 → target 8/8/9/8 Keep: she finds the last air under the hold's ceiling; under water the flamer only makes steam, and steam rises into her air. Replace: the pink-face XT and the murky staging. HOOK 0.0: out of breath, cheeks puffed, she swims up into the hold and breaks into a silver bowl of trapped air: a gasp of relief; she clings to a beam, legs dangling below the mirror-like surface. BEATS: - 1.2 the underside: from below, the pocket is a quivering silver mirror with her legs hanging out of it; Faris swims beneath and looks up. RACK FOCUS from Faris's nozzle (sharp) to her dangling legs (sharp) and back. - 1.9 tank 1 straight up under the pocket: every puff turns to white steam and rises into her air; the pocket turns to fog. - 2.6 inside the pocket: she's breathing it: a half-split picture, her face above the line in the fog, her legs below; the fog thickens, she coughs, she can't leave (the water below is Faris). - 3.4 the scald: her face and neck turn red then boiled white; blisters rise and burst; she claws at her throat. - 4.4 she breathes once more and coughs blood and shreds into the steam; an x-ray PiP of her airway blistering shut (kept, smaller). - 5.2 she lets go of the beam and drops out of the pocket into the water, face up, the boiled skin of her face lifting off and floating up around her in a veil. SHOTS: the gasp in close; the underside wide (the mirror); the rack focus; the steam rising; the inside-pocket half split; the scald in close; the PiP; the drop out of the pocket filmed from below (her body falling toward us, the skin veil floating up); the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low under her as she hangs face up in the water, rolled: the face and neck boiled white, the skin lifting off in a floating veil of sheets with curled edges, raw red underneath, the lips blistered and split, eyes poached white, pink froth and shreds of airway lining trailing up from the open mouth, blood clouding round the neck where she clawed it. VH (revised 27 Oct, no skin left on objects): the half-split at the waterline: above, her boiled face in the fog, the tongue swollen out between split lips, condensation dripping onto it; below, her legs hanging still in the water. H: drifting down through the hold, red scalded skin, burst blisters, the real dead face. M: floating under the pocket, pink, X eyes. L: she ducks out of the pocket early and swims for it, red-faced, steaming, dazed. VL: she sees the steam coming and swims off: alive, cheeks puffed. DETAIL PLAN: the pocket as a silver mirror underside with ripples and her reflected legs; the steam as a few big soft billows; the scald as a colour shift plus hand-drawn blisters that swell and burst; the floating skin veil as 4-5 translucent sheets that sway; the hold set lit by one shaft from a porthole. ≤ 15 s. ### 5. COOK-OFF · EPIC · canyon · Chotu · audit 6/5/7/4 → target 9/9/8/8 Keep: his own crossed bandoliers cook off round by round. Replace: the brown tangle XT; each round must be a real wound. HOOK 0.0: he swaggers in with two full bandoliers crossed on his chest; one short burst sets his shirt alight; he pats it out, laughs. BEATS: - 1.4 a round in its loop glows red. 1.8 POP: it cooks off, the case splits, brass flies, the bullet goes out sideways; he jerks. - 2.2 a 9-WAY SPLIT fills cell by cell: nine close-ups of nine rounds in their loops, each glowing and popping in turn (the case splitting, the bullet leaving, brass shrapnel), the beat speeding up like popcorn; the cells he can see are his panicking face. - 3.4 the grid collapses back to the wide: he claws at the buckle (too hot, his palm sticks to it). - 3.8 the rounds pointing inward fire into him: neck, jaw, chest: each a ballistic hit (A's hit fx: torn entry, spray, flesh flecks). - 4.6 the whole belt goes in a crackling string; he dances with each hit and drops to his knees. - 5.4 the last round, under his chin: his jaw blows off; he falls on his face. Silence; one late pop. SHOTS: the swagger wide; the glowing round in close; the 9-split; the buckle in close; the hits with angle changes per hit (side, front, low); the knees; the last round under the chin in slow motion; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at him on his back, rolled: the two bandolier lines burnt and blown into his chest as an X of open wounds, ribs exposed through it, the lungs perforated and frothing red, brass casing fragments embedded in the flesh, the lower jaw gone (the tongue and upper teeth bare), the shirt burnt away round the X, blood soaking the sand. VH (revised 27 Oct): a hand-drawn insert of the burst buckle and the empty loops, his hand that reached for it blown off at the wrist by the last cook-off, the stump with tendons and the wrist bones, brass scattered round it. H: on his side, the chest peppered with small holes in two crossed lines, burns round them, the real dead face. M: face down, smoking bandoliers, X eyes. L: the rounds only fizz: he's black-faced and smoking, spitting out a casing, dazed. VL: he rips the belts off and throws them: they pop harmlessly behind him; alive, singed. DETAIL PLAN: real cartridges in the loops (brass, a red tip, the case splitting); brass shrapnel spinning with glints; per-hit ballistic fx; the X wound drawn with torn edges and ribs; the jaw wound anatomically drawn; the canyon at golden hour. ≤ 15 s. ### 6. THE PUGILIST · LEGENDARY · the cage · Chotu · audit 6/5/7/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: "I DON'T FIGHT", and the heat makes a fighter of him after he dies (the real pugilistic attitude of burn victims). Replace: the unreadable XT; the rise into the guard must be the spectacle. HOOK 0.0: in the fight-night cage he throws his pistol away and shows Faris his open palms: I DON'T FIGHT. The crowd boos. BEATS: - 1.1 Faris shrugs and empties tank 1 into him point-blank; he burns; 2.8 still burning, he sinks to his knees, then onto his back. Dead. Silence. - 3.6 Faris turns to the crowd and hoists the flamer like a title belt. - 4.2 behind Faris: a creak. The dead man's muscles contract in the heat: the fists draw up into a guard, the elbows bend, the knees pull up. The crowd goes quiet. Then roars. - 5.2 the contraction drags him up: he rolls and rises to his knees in a perfect boxer's guard, burnt, dead, facing Faris. - 5.8 DING (the bell): a FREEZE-FRAME STAMP: a fight card slams in: "THE PUGILIST · WEIGHT 61 KG → 38 KG · RECORD 0-0-1 · STYLE: POSTHUMOUS"; unfreeze. - 6.2 Faris turns; the burnt fighter "jabs" as a contraction jerks one arm forward; Faris raises a hand, and taps it: the burnt arm breaks at the elbow and falls; the body topples forward onto its face in the guard. SHOTS: the palms in close; the burst; the knees; the title-belt wide with the crowd; the creak with the camera low behind the body as the fists rise; a slow push as he rises in the guard; the freeze stamp; the jab; the tap; the topple in slow motion; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at his face in the guard, rolled 10°: full-thickness char with ember fissures, the skin split along the arms as the muscles contracted, the splits open on red striated muscle and white tendon cords pulled tight, the fists clenched and burnt to the knuckle bones, the lips burnt off in a snarl like a mouthguard (the teeth bare), the eyes cooked milky, the scalp burnt to the skull at the crown, smoke curling up. VH: the broken arm on the canvas in the foreground, the burnt bone and the cooked muscle at the break, the dead fighter beyond in his guard. H: in the guard on his knees, deep red burns and blisters, the real dead face. M: curled in the guard on his side, soot-black, X eyes. L: he sits up sooty and dazed, his fists up out of reflex, the crowd cheering. VL: the burst only singes him: he backs away with his palms still up, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the cage (chain-link, the canvas with logos, ring lights, the crowd silhouettes with phone lights); the contraction drawn as visible skin splits opening on the arms and legs; the fight card graphics; the elbow break with bone. ≤ 15 s. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ## BATCH 2 (drafted while batch 1 waits) · devices on 3 of 6 only (MATCH CUT, ORBIT, CRASH ZOOM); the rest is pure staging ### 7. STEPPING STONE · EPIC · atrium · Hiba under Mikku · audit 6/5/8/4 → target 9/8/9/8 Keep: betrayal above a fire, one partner climbing the other. NEW PAYOFF: the stepping stone won't let go: she dies holding his ankles, her burnt hands lock round them in the heat (a death grip), and the fire climbs her body into him. HOOK 0.0: Faris walks them back into the corner; tank 1 walks ground licks toward their feet. BEATS: 1.9 Mikku grabs her shoulders and climbs her; she buckles and holds him up by the ankles. 2.4 she looks up at him, pleading; he pushes her head down with his boot and reaches for the ladder rung above. 3.0 the fire takes her feet; she screams but keeps holding (he's her partner). 3.8 his hand finds the rung; he kicks to free himself: her grip doesn't open: her hands have cooked shut round his ankles. 4.6 she dies standing, a burning pillar with her arms raised, and the fire climbs her arms onto his shins. 5.4 he hangs from the rung, kicking, her burning corpse dangling from his feet, too heavy; 6.4 his fingers slip; they fall together into the fire. SHOTS: one long crane: from her burning feet up her body to his face (the betrayal in a single move); her pleading face against his boot on her head; a close on her hands round his ankles, the fingers cooking shut (an insert); his hand on the rung from above; the dangling corpse wide; the fall; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at them in the fire, rolled: her charred body standing locked on him: char crust with ember fissures, the face burnt to the skull at the jaw with the teeth bare, eyes cooked, her hands fused round his ankles with the finger bones through the burnt skin; his legs burning from the feet up, the skin sloughing off his shins in sheets, his face above screaming, soot froth. VH: an insert of the four hands and ankles: her burnt fingers locked to the bone round his slough-skinned ankles. H: the two of them fallen together in the embers, blistered and burnt, real dead faces. M: two soot-black bodies in the corner, X eyes. L: he jumps clear, she drops and rolls: both sooty, dazed, glaring at each other. VL: Faris's tank runs dry first: they stand on each other, singed, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the corner set lit only by the floor fire (strong under-light); the hands insert drawn large; slough sheets on his shins; her burning silhouette as a strong shape against the wall. ### 8. MOLTEN RAIN · LEGENDARY · base · Chotu · audit 6/5/8/4 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: hiding under the walkway out of the flame's reach; what the fire melts reaches him. Replace: the white-blob XT. HOOK 0.0: he ducks under the steel walkway; Faris's stream splashes on the grating above; only embers fall through. 0.9 he points up and grins (MISSED). BEATS: 1.2 Faris holds tank 1 on the one patch of grating over his head: it glows dull red, orange, white, and sags into a bulge. 2.3 the grin goes (a CRASH ZOOM on his face as the first drop forms). 2.6 the first drop falls in slow motion and lands on his shoulder: it burns straight through the shirt and the flesh with a hiss and stays glowing in the hole. 3.2 more drops: he tries to run; a drop hits his foot and pins it, burning through to the floor. 4.0 he looks up to see where the next one comes from; the bulge lets go in a stream of molten steel onto his face. 4.8 he falls to his knees under the stream; 5.6 it cools to a dull grey crust over his head and shoulders like a helmet. SHOTS: the wide of the walkway; from above through the glowing grating looking down at him (the bulge in the foreground); the crash zoom; the first drop in slow motion; the foot pinned (insert); the look up from below into the stream; the cooling crust in close. GORE LADDER: XT: low at his face under the cooled steel: the grey crust welded over the top of his head and down one side of his face, the metal fused into the skull, the exposed half of the face burnt to the bone along the line where the stream ran, the eye under the metal gone, molten beads still glowing in deep cauterised holes in his shoulders and chest (black-rimmed, the steel bead at the bottom), the lips burnt off the teeth. VH: an insert of the foot pinned to the floor by a cooled steel drop, burnt through to the bone. H: kneeling, the shoulder holes glowing, deep burns, the real dead face. M: slumped, soot and small burns, X eyes. L: the drops miss: one lands in his hand and he juggles it, howling, sooty, dazed. VL: the grating holds; he grins on, singed by embers. DETAIL PLAN: the grating glowing through red, orange, white (baked bars, a heat gradient); drops as bright beads with trails; the holes drawn as cauterised pits with glowing beads; the cooling crust shifts from orange to grey; strong under-light from the molten metal. ### 9. THE URN · RARE · rooftops · Mikku · audit 6/5/7/5 → target 9/9/8/8 Keep: herded, cooked slowly, cremated standing while the face still screams; the urn waiting. Replace: the small XT. HOOK 0.0: cornered on the parapet, tongue out, beckoning. BEATS: 0.7 the herding: four short licks at his feet, each a pace closer; his hems catch, he pats them out, the next lick relights them. 2.6 Faris traces a little gold urn into being on the parapet (castInk). 3.2 tank 1, held: he burns standing; 4.2 the cremation: from the feet up he crumbles to grey ash while the top of him still screams. An ORBIT: a slow orbit round him as the ash line climbs his legs, hips, ribcage (the burning ribs show through as the ash falls away), shoulders. 6.2 the face is last: the jaw goes to ash mid-scream and the skull cracks; 6.8 Faris sweeps the pile into the urn with his boot: a tooth and a finger bone clink in; he screws the lid on. SHOTS: the taunt wide; low on the hems relighting; the urn traced in close; the orbit; the jaw going in a close; the sweep from low with the urn in the foreground; the lid. GORE LADDER: XT: the frozen moment of the orbit at the face: the body ash from the chest down, the ribcage standing out of the ash still burning, the heart dark and shrivelled inside it, the face above charred and screaming, the lower jaw half crumbled to ash with the teeth falling out of it, eyes cooked. VH: the ash pile on the parapet, the half-skull in it with the teeth, the urn beside. H: the burnt body standing, the legs gone to ash to the knees, the real dead face. M: a blackened statue of him, X eyes, crumbling. L: the lick singes him; he hops on the parapet, sooty, dazed; the urn tips over. VL: he dodges the licks and the urn is empty. DETAIL PLAN: the ash line climbing as a dissolving edge with falling flakes; the ribcage drawn and burning; the urn in gold with engraving; rain hissing on the embers (the monsoon roof). ### 10. BURNING BRIDGES · COMMON · rooftops · Chotu · audit 6/5/7/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: the fire walking the plank after him; it parts under his feet; the burnt half waits below, wedged upright and splintered. HOOK 0.0: he steps out on the plank over the drop, arms out. BEATS: 0.6 Faris lights the plank's near end; 1.0 he smells smoke and looks back: the fire walking after him. 1.6 he hurries; the plank sags; the nails pop in close-ups. 2.6 it parts: the near half drops first and wedges upright in the alley below, its burnt end a crown of splinters. 3.0 he hangs from the far half; it burns through at his hands. MATCH CUT: the far half's burning end splinters in close, cut to the same shape: the wedged stub's splintered point waiting below. 3.6 he falls onto it. SHOTS: the plank wide; the fire walking along the grain; the nails popping; the parting; the hands on the burning end; the match cut; the fall from above with the stub growing; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: from below, rolled: the splintered stub through his belly and out of his back, loops of intestine caught on the splinters, blood running down the charred wood, his body folded over it and still burning, his face hanging upside down toward us, eyes open, fire in his hair. VH: high on his back: the burning point out of his back with the splinters, his head hanging. H: the stub through his side, burns, the real dead face. M: draped over the stub, smoking, X eyes. L: he lands beside the stub in the rubbish, sooty, dazed. VL: he jumps back to the roof before it parts, singed. DETAIL PLAN: wood grain charring along the plank (baked, a burn mask advancing); splinters as sharp shapes; intestines as wet loops with highlights; rain. ### 11. WET SHOT · COMMON · base · Nitha · audit 6/5/7/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: the unlit stream soaks her in fuel; the fire follows her wet footprints to her. The headphones melt and slide off before XT / VH. HOOK 0.0: Faris fires: nothing lights: a stream of amber fuel drenches her head to foot. She laughs at the dud. BEATS: 1.4 she sniffs her sleeve; the laugh dies; the puddle spreads. 1.9 Faris strikes one match on his canister: nothing; again. 2.6 the match flares: a CRASH ZOOM onto the tiny flame. 2.8 he drops it into her footprints at his feet: the flame runs along the wet prints after her as she runs. 3.6 it catches her heel: she goes up in one blue sheet. 4.4 the fuel burns blue over her like a skin; the real skin under it slides off with the flame; her headphones melt and slide off. 5.6 she drops. SHOTS: the soaking in close; her sniff; the match in macro; the crash zoom; the flame chasing the footprints in a low tracking shot; the blue sheet wide; the melting headphones insert; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at her face on the floor, rolled: a blue film of burning fuel over the whole body, the skin under it sliding off in sheets from the face and arms, raw red muscle and white tendon at the elbows, the face burnt to the skull at the cheek, the melted headphones fused to one ear and slid off the other, lips gone, eyes cooked, the blue flame still flickering. VH: her hand reaching out of the blue sheet, the skin sliding off it like a glove. H: on her side, blue flames dying, deep burns, the real dead face. M: soot-black, smoking, X eyes. L: the footprints burn out a step behind her: she's sooty, dazed, dripping. VL: the match never lights. DETAIL PLAN: the fuel as a glossy amber film with highlights; the blue sheet as a translucent flame skin; the footprints as wet shapes the flame runs along; the headphones melting (a drawn prop). ### 12. FLASH IN THE PAN · RARE · clock · Chotu as the old duellist · audit 6/5/7/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: the misfire; the spilled powder he can't brush off; one lick: his own flash in the pan; the horn a flamethrower in his locked fist. Replace: the small gerb and the cluttered XT. HOOK 0.0: point-blank, CLICK, a flash in the pan, nothing. BEATS: 0.8 re-priming, the powder pours over the pan, his sleeve, coat front and beard. 3.0 he looks down, understands. 4.4 one lick. 4.55 WHOOF: the spill flashes white over his front. 4.7 the horn in his fist jets a roaring gerb of burning powder up into his face for a second and a half (big: a fountain of sparks lighting the whole clock face behind him). 6.2 the horn bursts in his fist. SHOTS: the duel two-shot; the pan in macro; the pour; his face as he understands; the WHOOF from low; the gerb from the side with the clock face lit behind; the burst in close; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at his face, lit from below by the last sparks: powder-tattooed black with the grains glowing like coals in the skin, a channel burnt through the cheek by the gerb down to the teeth, the beard burnt to the jaw, eyes cooked white and lidless, smoke from the mouth; his hand: the burst brass horn fused to the palm, two fingers blown off at the knuckles. VH: the hand big in front, the burst horn and the missing fingers, his black face at the edge. H: sat slumped against the clock-face wall, dark, ember-rimmed, the real dead face. M: on his back in a black fan of powder burn, X eyes. L: black-faced, beard frizzled, dazed. VL: he flings the horn away. DETAIL PLAN: the grains glowing in the skin (baked points with a pulse); the gerb as a big fountain of sparks; the brass horn with a torn burst; the clock face lit in the sparks' light. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ## TEMPLATE FIX (coordinator 03:50): SKIN LEFT BEHIND stays the payoff in exactly two kills, POACHED (the gloves) and TERRACOTTA ## (the printed face). AFTERBURNER, BACKDRAFT VH, AIR POCKET VH and COOK-OFF VH are revised to new pictures. ## BATCH 3 · devices on 2 of 6 (WHIP PAN, SPEED RAMP with trails); the rest is staging and angles ### 13. POACHED · LEGENDARY · tower roof tank · Amjad · audit 6/5/8/5 → target 9/8/9/8 Keep: the right move (burning, he dives into the water tank) and the tank becomes the pot; the cutaway. Add the pot gag and a held boil. HOOK 0.0: ablaze, he climbs the tank's ladder and dives in head first through the roof hatch: a splash, a pillar of steam. BEATS: 2.5 the cutaway (the tank's front wall in section): he surfaces to the chin, the fire's out, he laughs. 3.2 tank 1 held on the tank's steel flank: the steel glows; a gauge on the tank's side (a drawn dial) climbs from 20° to 100°. 4.4 small bubbles stream off the walls; he stops laughing; tries the hatch: Faris has stood on it. 5.2 the rolling boil: the water heaves and tosses him; his skin reddens, then whitens. 6.4 the hatch lid rattles like a pot lid, steam jetting round it (Faris steps off, wafts the steam at his nose). 7.2 Faris lifts the lid with the nozzle: steam; a hand floats up out of the water, and the skin slides off it like a glove. SHOTS: the dive wide; the cutaway as the main angle (warm under-light from the glowing steel); the gauge insert; his face at the waterline as he stops laughing; the boil from inside the cutaway; the rattling lid from above; the hand rising in close; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: in the cutaway at his face just under the surface, rolled: the face boiled white and swollen, skin sliding off the cheeks and brow in loose sheets that drift in the water, the grey-pink cooked flesh beneath, the eyes boiled white, the lips split, the skin of both hands come off as floating gloves, fat glistening on the surface above him. VH: the hand rising out of the steam in close, the skin slipping off it, the cooked fingers under it. H: floating face down in the cutaway, lobster red with burst blisters, the real dead face turned to the glass. M: floating in the steam, red, X eyes. L: he hauls himself out over the rim before the boil, scalded pink, steaming, dazed. VL: the tank's only warm: he floats, singed, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the tank's riveted steel glowing in a gradient; the cutaway water with refraction ripples; the bubble stream (a few big bubbles, not a field); floating skin sheets as translucent shapes; the gauge drawn; rising steam with the city night behind. ### 14. TERRACOTTA · EPIC · forts oasis · Hiba · audit 6/5/8/5 → target 9/8/9/8 Keep: she smothers the fire in mud (the right move) and Faris bakes the mud into a clay crust and cooks her inside it. NEW PAYOFF: the skin comes away with the clay. HOOK 0.15: a burst sets her alight; she runs to the oasis bank, throws herself in the mud and rolls; the fire hisses out. BEATS: 2.0 up on her knees, caked in mud, a relieved grin. 2.6 tank 1 over her: the mud steams, dries pale and cracks, hardens into a terracotta shell; she can't move; her eyes dart behind the eye-holes. 4.2 the shell glows orange; her muffled scream inside; steam from the cracks. 5.6 silence. Faris taps the shell with the nozzle: tink. 6.2 he taps the face: the clay mask falls off in one piece, and her face's skin comes with it, stuck inside the clay; he turns the shard over: her face, printed in skin, on the inside. SHOTS: the burning run wide; the roll in the mud low; the relieved grin close; the baking with a time-lapse feel (the mud colour changing in steps); the eye-holes in close; the tap; the mask falling (slow); the shard turned over in his hand (insert); the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at her face as the mask comes away: the face skinned to raw red muscle under the clay, the skin stuck inside the shard beside it (eyelids, lips, the brows printed there), her cooked eyes white and lidless, teeth bare, steam rising off the raw face, the clay shell still on the rest of her, cracked. VH: the shard in Faris's hand, the skin face inside it, her raw head beyond. H: the shell cracked open down the front, the body inside cooked red, the real dead face. M: the shell whole and blackened, cracked, X eyes in the eye-holes. L: the shell cracks open early and she tumbles out, red, dusty, dazed. VL: the mud stays wet: she sits in it, steaming. DETAIL PLAN: the mud shading wet brown to pale terracotta with a craquelure (baked, revealed by a mask); the clay mask as a drawn object; the skin print inside the shard drawn finely; steam from the cracks; the oasis palms. ### 15. MIRAGE · EPIC · castle courtyard · Fayiz · audit 6/5/8/5 → target 9/9/9/8 Keep: real vitrified stone (fire fusing stone into glass) and a dying man seeing water in the shimmer. NEW PAYOFF: he drinks the glass. HOOK 0.0: scorched and parched, he drags himself across the courtyard on his belly; Faris strolls behind him. BEATS: 0.6 tank 1 over him onto the flagstones ahead: they glow, run and fuse into a glossy green pool of molten glass; the air above shimmers. 2.5 HIS EYES: in the shimmer, cool blue water reflecting the sky (the pool seen as he sees it, then as it is, glowing). 3.3 he crawls to it and plunges his face in to drink. 4.0 he rears back screaming with molten glass strung from his lips and chin, the skin of his face coming with it. 4.8 his hand slips; his face falls back into the glass; it sets in seconds. SHOTS: the crawl low; the stones glowing (a slow push); the eyes in close; the mirage (blue, sky reflected) vs the truth (green, molten) as a cut; the plunge in profile; the rear-back with the strings of glass; a shot from UNDER the glass looking up at his face pressed into it (the courtyard sky behind him); the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: from under the glass, looking up through the green: his face fused into the glass, the skin seared and blistered flat against it, the lips and tongue fused to the glass in a scream, the eyes cooked white, bubbles of boiled blood trapped in the glass round him, the glass crazed where it cooled. VH: in profile: the head stuck to the glass floor, strings of glass from the face to the floor hardened like icicles, the skin torn off the cheek on one string. H: lying beside the pool, the face burnt and glazed, the real dead face. M: face down at the pool's edge, smoking, X eyes. L: he touches it with one finger, howls and rolls away, sooty, dazed. VL: he stops short, realises, sobs, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the glass pool glossy and translucent with a heat glow, refraction and a sky reflection in the mirage shot; the strings of glass with highlights; the under-glass camera with the frame tinted green and crazed; the vitrified flagstones round it. ### 16. BACKDRAFT · RARE · tower lift car · Fida · audit 6/5/8/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: Faris never breaks in: he feeds the fire under the shutter and waits; the starved room detonates through her when she cracks it. HOOK 0.0: she runs into the lift car, hauls the shutter down (CLANG), knocks on it from inside, grinning. BEATS: 1.4 Faris kneels and plays the flame through the finger-gap under the shutter; the car fills with fire. 2.8 the fire eats the air and starves to a dark breathing glow; she's pressed into the corner, coughing, her palms burnt on the hot steel (hand prints on it). 4.0 Faris steps aside and waits. 4.6 she can't breathe: she hauls the shutter up a hand's width for air. 4.8 the air rushes in: WHIP PAN from her face at the gap to the far wall as the backdraft punches out through her in a fireball. 5.2 she's thrown across the corridor into the wall. SHOTS: the knock grin through the slats; the flame under the gap low; the starved glow inside (a cutaway of the car, dark red); her palms on the steel (insert); Faris waiting; her face at the gap in close; the whip pan with the blast; the wall impact; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at her against the corridor wall, rolled: the front of her stripped by the blast: the skin of the face and chest blown off in tatters hanging from the sides, the raw muscle beneath charred at the edges, the hair and brows gone, the lips burnt back off the teeth, the eyes cooked, her clothes blown off the front, smoke rising. VH (revised 27 Oct): the shutter wide, her silhouette blasted onto it in clean steel where the soot couldn't reach (the blast shadow), her body crumpled in front of it, burnt. H: slumped against the wall, blistered and burnt, the real dead face. M: in a heap, soot-black, X eyes. L: she opens the shutter slowly and only a puff of soot meets her: black-faced, dazed. VL: Faris gets bored and leaves; she peeks out, singed. DETAIL PLAN: the shutter's slats with heat colour; the starved fire as a dark breathing glow; the hand prints with skin; the blast as a big directional fireball shape; the tatters as hanging slough (A's base). ### 17. TORCHED · COMMON · saloon · Fida · audit 6/6/7/5 → target 9/8/8/8 Keep: the spiral of laps (each lap a lick closes the circle) and the alligator char grid at the centre. NEW PAYOFF: she breaks along it. HOOK 0.0: a burst lights her; she runs screaming in a circle. BEATS: 0.6 the laps: each time she nears the end of a lap a lick lands ahead of her and she turns inward; the rings stay burning. 2.2 the top-down insert of the spiral closing (kept). 4.2 at the centre she slows, staggers, falls; the swap. 5.9 tank 2 on her where she lies: the char crazes into the alligator grid. 7.2 Faris taps her with the nozzle: she breaks along the grid into blocks like burnt timber. SHOTS: handheld on the laps (a running profile, low); the spiral insert; her face as she slows; the fall; the swap; the craze in close (slow push); the tap; the break in close; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: low at her face as she breaks: the body charred into deep alligator checks, the cracks open on glowing red, one block of the shoulder fallen away showing the cooked muscle and bone inside, the face crazed in the same grid with the cheek block fallen off to the teeth, eyes cooked white. VH: her hand reaching, breaking along the grid at the fingers, finger blocks on the floor. H: the top-down insert: the spiral burnt into the floor, her charred body at its centre. M: curled at the centre, soot-black, X eyes. L: she stops in the last ring and sits down hard, smoking, dazed. VL: she runs out of the spiral before it closes, singed. DETAIL PLAN: the alligator grid baked into her char (deep checks with glowing seams), the blocks as real pieces when she breaks; the rings burning on the boards; the saloon lit by the rings. ### 18. AFTERBURNER · RARE · pinball / base · Mikku · audit 6/6/7/5 → target 9/9/8/8 Keep: pinned to the roof by his own jet, cooking, until the fuel runs out and the drop finishes him. HOOK 0.0: he buckles on the jetpack, lifts off out of reach, laughing down, thumbs down. BEATS: 1.3 one lick across the jetpack's tank. 1.6 an insert on the dial on his chest: needle into the red; the throttle won't come down. 2.6 the afterburner kicks in and slams him up into the girders, pinned flat by his own jet. 3.0-6.6 he cooks against the steel, the flame roaring down past his legs and curling back up round him; his back skin sizzles onto the girder. 6.8 the fuel runs dry: silence. 7.0 he peels off the steel (revised 27 Oct: no skin sheet): the girder's rivet rows and cross-bracing are branded INTO his back, burnt to the bone. 7.2 the drop: a SPEED RAMP (slow, with motion trails) on the silent fall, the burnt body turning; 8.4 the impact beside Faris. SHOTS: the lift-off from below; the dial insert; the slam from the side; pinned, the jet column to the floor (wide); his face on the steel in close; the silence; the peel (the rivet brand on his back in close); the speed-ramped fall; the floor from low; the finals. GORE LADDER: XT: from his feet on the floor, low: the body split open by the fall at the belly, the jetpack fused into the blackened back (revised 27 Oct) the face pressed flat and burnt to the teeth, cooked eyes, char plates with ember fissures on the limbs. VH (revised 27 Oct): on his side, his back to us: the girder's rivet pattern and cross-bracing branded into the back in black lines down to the white vertebrae and ribs, the jetpack fused at the shoulders, his face turned at the edge. H: on his side, the nozzle still glowing, deep burns, the real dead face. M: face down with the smoking jetpack, X eyes. L: the jet sputters at the roof; he slides down a hanging chain, sooty, dazed. VL: the pack pops a tiny parachute; he drifts down singed, waving. DETAIL PLAN: the jetpack as a detailed prop (tanks, nozzle, dial); the jet column as a bold flame shape; the rivet brand drawn as a baked pattern of burnt lines to bone; the fall with trails; impact dust. ## BATCH 4 · devices on 2 of 6 (a SHOT GRADE for the realm in WICKER GIANT, HANDHELD for the blind run in NO CAPES); the rest is staging ## (27 Oct, O). All six on A's burn base + FL.burn2 (embers in A's cracks, froth, smoke), per-limb painters through FL.zEach (no ghost ## limbs), headgear off before XT/VH, ≤ 15.0 s trigger to the last held final, the XT framing wound + dead face + the story prop. ### 19. WELL DONE · skin CLASSIC · COMMON · cage canvas · Mikku · audit 6/6/7/5 → target 8/8/8/8 Keep: grilled like a steak, turned with the nozzle, the meat thermometer card swinging RARE → MEDIUM → WELL DONE. Replace: the seared bars (TOASTED owns the grid brand now) and the dark cluttered close. NEW LOOK: the even, deep crust of a steak: A's crust at full on the flame side, and each turn shows the CRACKLING: the crust splitting open along the limbs as it shrinks, fat bubbling out of the splits and FLARING when it drips into the flame (a real grill), and the body CURLING on the grill (the pugilistic contraction drawn up a little more at every turn, like a steak curling in the pan). HOOK 0.0: Mikku curls into a ball on the canvas to hide from the flame. BEATS: 0.6 Faris kneels like a grill cook and gives him a short pass; 1.0 RARE: he whimpers, pink. 1.5 the nozzle tip under his hip: TURNED (he flops over, the grilled side up). 2.0 the thermometer goes into his thigh; its card rises out of the smoke, the needle swinging. 2.4 MEDIUM: the crust browns and splits; fat beads and drips; a flare-up lights the cage blue-white for a frame. 2.9 TURNED again: the limbs drawn up tighter. 3.3 the long pass, slow; the crackling opens. 4.2 the needle hits WELL DONE: Faris lifts the nozzle, blows the smoke off the tip and lets the meat rest: one curl of steam. SHOTS: low on the canvas for each pass, a new angle at every TURN (from his face, from his feet, from above the ropes); the flare-ups light the whole cage for a frame; the thermometer card in close (the needle, the smoke); a slow push through the long pass; the rest. GORE LADDER: XT: low at his face on the canvas, rolled upright: the face burnt to a crust with the lips burnt back off both rows of teeth, the cooked eye in its raw rim, the cheek through to the back teeth; the crust split open along the arm and flank on wet red meat with yellow fat welling and spitting; the hands drawn up into burnt claws with the bone at the fingertips; the thermometer in his thigh at WELL DONE in frame; juices and blood pooling under him. VH: on his back, from his feet: the belly crust split open lengthwise and curled back like an overdone sausage skin, fat and juice welling out, claw hands, his dead face at the far edge. H: the hand-drawn top-down insert (kept): the curled black body in a ring of grease, the thermometer at WELL DONE. M: curled and smoking, sooty brown, X eyes. L: grilled pink and sweaty, steaming, sat dazed. VL: he rolls out of the passes and pats himself out: sooty, alive, sat dazed. DETAIL PLAN: the crackling splits as real openings in the crust (meat, fat, a wet edge); flare-up flashes; the thermometer as a detailed prop (dial, needle, steam on the glass); grease ring on the canvas; the cage lit by the flame. ### 20. JERKY · EPIC · saloon · Fayiz · audit 6/6/8/5 → target 9/8/9/8 Keep (the script is strong): CAN'T REACH ME, the ONE INCH (the tip of the flame an inch from his boots: the fire stops, the heat goes on), the canteen boiling in his hand, step for step to the barrel, the one sizzling drop, the second tank drying him to leather, the blow that tips the husk over, the dust from the canteen. Replace: the medium side shots and the unreadable husk close. NEW DETAIL: he dries like BEEF JERKY: the skin darkens and tightens into glossy mahogany leather, then splits into long dried strips that peel and curl (jerky strips), the muscle under them dried to dark fibre. HOOK 0.0: out of range, he laughs and toasts Faris with his canteen. BEATS: 1.4 ONE INCH: a macro insert at boot level: the flame tip, his toe cap, the inch of shimmering air between them. 1.85 the canteen boils: a macro on the water rolling, steam whistling from the cap. 2.25 step for step: the sweat beads on his face pop and flash to steam in macro. 3.1 his back meets the barrel; DRY: the swap. 4.05 ONE DROP on the cracked tongue: it sizzles away. 4.85 the second tank: the last of his water goes in one long breath of steam: the face sinks (the eyes shrink back into the sockets like raisins, the lips draw off the teeth, the nose collapses), the skin tightens over the knuckles and splits into strips. 6.6 PFF: Faris blows on him like a match. 6.9 TIMBER: the husk tips over and splits open on the boards. 7.6 Faris prises the canteen out of the fist: two dried fingers snap off like twigs. 8.7 he upends it over the gaping mouth: only dust. SHOTS: the toast from Faris's eye line; the inch in macro (boot level); the canteen macro; the sweat flashing in close; the backing walk tracked side-on at boot height (the inch held in frame the whole way); the drop on the tongue in close; the face drying in a slow push; the blow; the fall wide; the fingers snapping in close; the dust from above. GORE LADDER: XT: low on the boards, rolled upright: the husk split open from the collarbone to the belly: dried jerky strips of skin curled back, the ribs like dry sticks with dark dried muscle fibre between them, the shrivelled heart rolled out on the boards (a dark dried heart with its vessels, not a ball), black syrup of boiled-down blood spreading; the mummified face: raisin eyes sunk deep, a full grin of bared teeth, the collapsed nose; the canteen in the fist with two fingers snapped off at the knuckles, dry white bone ends. VH: the split husk, no organs out, the snapped fingers. H: dark seams, the shell split on dark emptiness, the dried face. M: a smoky mist; the husk falls whole and crumbles into papery flakes, X eyes. L: a prune with his tongue out like a dog; he faints with stars and gets the dust on his face. VL: a pale prune that puffs out in steam; the dust pours onto the empty boards. DETAIL PLAN: the leather sheen and the curling jerky strips (per limb, FL.zEach); the raisin eyes as real sunken eyes; the macro inserts drawn large; the saloon lit warm by the flame and the lamps. ### 21. THE WICKER GIANT · MYTHIC · temple → the shadow realm · Nitha · audit 6/6/8/5 → target 9/9/9/8 Keep: the stream throws her burning shadow up the wall and it grows wrong: woven, a giant; the death crack into the shadow: a black hill under a low red sky, a colossal wicker giant full of caged strangers, masked villagers (straw hare, ram, owl) circling with torches who never look up; she wakes caged in its chest; Faris lights its feet; her cage floor burns through and drops her down through the burning cages into the foot; the giant folds into its fire; ash on the real temple, where she lies curled in the exact shape of her cell, gripping bars that aren't there. Replace: the small far figures and the unreadable final. DEVICE: a SHOT GRADE for the realm (folk horror: crushed blacks, a sickly amber cast, film grain), dropped at the return so the temple reads clean. HOOK 0.0: her shadow on the temple wall grows taller than she is, and woven. BEATS: 1.4 the crack; the hill. 2.0 a crane up the giant from its burning-torch ring of masks to her cage in the chest: she wakes, gripping the bars, her headphones gone. 2.3 the swap among the masks (they don't look at him either). 4.05 the feet catch; the fire climbs the lattice; the strangers in the legs burn first (silhouettes, no detail). 5.35 her cage floor gives: the camera FALLS WITH HER (vertical tracking, burning bars whipping past), the glowing bars branding her at every fall; 6.15 again; 6.95 the foot. 7.3 the giant folds into its own fire (wide, from the masks). 8.05 ash falls on the real temple floor; 8.85 THE CELL. SHOTS: the shadow growing on the wall (low, behind her); the crane up the giant; the masks never looking up (a slow pass along their backs); the vertical fall with her; the fold wide; the ash; the final. GORE LADDER: XT: low at her on the temple floor, rolled upright: curled in the cell's shape, her hands burnt to the bone still gripping the air where the bars were (finger bones curled round nothing, black char at the wrists), the woven lattice branded into her back and legs as raw lines splitting on cooked meat (a basket weave, never a square grid), the face with the cooked eye and the lips burnt back, fat and blood seeping out round her into the ash. VH: from above: the curled body in the cell's shape with the ash falling on it, the charred hands gripping air, no bone. H: dark red brand lines, soot, the real dead face. M: soot-black with dark lines, no cracks, X eyes. L: a sooty cartoon curled up, out cold with stars. VL: a curled puff that sits up, coughing. DETAIL PLAN: the giant's weave as a strong pattern lit from inside; the masks as detailed props; the grade; the bone hands drawn large. ### 22. VIKING FUNERAL · LEGENDARY · pirate ship · Amjad · audit 6/6/8/5 → target 9/9/8/8 Keep: a burst and a kick put him down by the rail; Faris draws a gold-ink longboat (dragon prow, shields, striped sail), rolls him into it, crosses his arms and kicks it over the side; the swap; the stream laid across the water: a line of fire runs out across the black sea to the boat; it catches; he wakes adrift, stands, looks back at the ship, and sits down in the flames as the pyre drifts into the dark. Replace: the far small pyre and the HUD-covered final. NEW PAYOFF: he sits down like a king: in the burning stern, upright, his hands on his knees, burning while the boat drifts; the dragon prow burns through and falls into the sea; the striped sail goes up in one sheet. HOOK 0.0: the kick: he goes down by the rail, out cold. BEATS: 0.8 the longboat drawn in gold ink, line by line. 1.6 laid in it, arms crossed. 2.4 over the side: the splash. 3.3 the swap at the rail. 5.05 the stream across the water: the fuel floats and burns, the fire line racing out. 5.9 it catches. 6.0 he wakes, sits up, looks back. 6.6 he stands in the burning boat, looking at Faris. 7.4 he sits down in the flames, hands on his knees. 8.5 the sail goes up; 9.2 the prow falls; the pyre drifts into the dark. SHOTS: the ink boat from above as it's drawn; the splash from the rail; the fire line tracked at water level (racing toward the lens and past); the boat catching from low on the water; a REVERSE from the boat: the ship far behind, Faris a small silhouette at the rail; the stand; the sit-down in a slow push; the sail; the prow; the drift (the shrinking pyre held as the shot). GORE LADDER: XT: low at the boat's stern, rolled upright: the seated burning figure, char crust with ember fissures, the face burnt to the skull at the cheek with the teeth bare, the cooked eyes, the arms drawn up off the knees into the burn guard, the crossed shields burning behind him, the fallen prow in the water in frame. VH: the seated charred figure in the boat from the ship's height, the sail burning, no bone. H: blackened in the flames, real dead face. M: soot-black, sitting, X eyes. L: a sooty cartoon who waves from the drifting boat, stars round his head. VL: the boat drifts out; a puff of smoke; he paddles it back with his hands, singed. DETAIL PLAN: the gold-ink boat drawn as a detailed prop (prow carving, shields, oars); the fire on the water as a bold moving line with reflections; the sea lit orange; the burning sail as one big shape. ### 23. THE BRAZEN BULL · MYTHIC · castle → the tyrant's courtyard · Mikku · audit 6/6/8/5 (23.7 s: OVER THE CAP) → target 9/9/8/8, ≤ 15 s Keep: pinned burning against the tower wall; the death crack as a red-hot bull's-head branding iron pressed onto the lens, the picture charring through in its shape into an absent tyrant's black courtyard (the empty throne, the cup of wine still steaming, rows of cold bronze bulls on dead pyres, one lit for him); kicked in through the belly door and bolted; his screams out of the reed pipes as a brass BELLOW that rolls round the courtyard; the bronze glowing from the belly; the door opened on steam; back in the castle the last bellow leaves his own mouth as steam; he lies curled in the bull's-belly shape over a bull's-head brand cooling in the stone. TRIM (cuts only, no speed-up): the walk-in and the bolt become three quick cuts; the pyre build is one shot; the bronze's glow is a time-lapse in three cuts (orange → cherry → white-gold); the door by 9.0; the castle by 10.4; the last held final by 13.0. BEATS: 0 PINNED; 1.2 the brand on the lens; 1.3 the courtyard; 1.7 into the belly (three cuts: the kick, the door, the bolt); 2.6 the swap by the empty throne; 3.4 the pyre roars; 4.0 THE BELLOW: the wine in the cup on the throne ripples with each bellow (an insert); 5.0-7.6 the bronze glows in three time-lapse cuts, the bellow thinning; 8.2 a wheeze; 9.0 the door: steam, the shape inside; 10.4 the castle: the last bellow leaves his mouth as steam; 11.2 THE BRAND IN THE STONE. SHOTS: the brand on the lens (the picture burning through in its shape); the courtyard wide with the throne; the three-cut bolt; the cup insert; the bull lit from below, the pipes in close; the door from inside the belly as it opens (light and steam pouring in); the castle final. GORE LADDER: XT: low in the castle, rolled upright: curled in the belly's shape, glazed and split along the spine with yellow fat bubbling out of the split onto the stone, the skin of the back blistered and burst, the cooked eyes, the lips burnt back off the teeth, the bull's-head brand glowing in the stone under him; blood handprints dried on his own forearms. VH: the split along the spine, no fat spill, the brand. H: glazed and blistered, no split, real dead face. M: glossy brown, no blisters, X eyes. L: a steaming cartoon face out cold with stars. VL: a puff of steam from the door; he stumbles out of the bull, singed, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the bull as a detailed bronze prop (rivets, the belly door, the reed pipes, the glow gradient from the belly outward); the courtyard props (throne, cup, cold bulls); the brand-on-the-lens transition; the split back as a real opening (meat, fat, wet edge). ### 24. NO CAPES · RARE · base watchtower · Amjad · audit 6/6/8/5 → target 9/8/9/8 Keep: the hero pose at the tower's edge, the coat billowing; he sidesteps the burst with a swirl and one puff touches the hem; three seconds of the fire climbing his back while he gloats, Faris lowering the gun and only watching; at his neck he screams and spins, the coat streams up over his head into a hood of fire, and he runs blind off the edge, a burning streak with the coat streaming like a cape; his cap floats down after him. Replace: the far fall and the cluttered final. DEVICE: HANDHELD (a shaky profile) for the blind run only, from inside the hood of fire for one beat (his POV: flame, flame, the edge, sky). HOOK 0.0: the pose: "NO CAPES" pinned on the gloat, the coat filling the frame. BEATS: 0.5 the swirl; 0.62 the hem catches (a close on the first lick). 1.0-3.5 the fire climbs his back while he gloats: three cuts, each closer, the flame higher, Faris in the background lowering the gun. 3.8 the neck: the scream; 4.0 the coat up over his head: the hood of fire; 4.2 the POV inside the hood (handheld). 4.6 BLIND: the handheld run; 5.3 THE EDGE: off. 5.4 the fall from above: he drops away down the tower, the burning coat streaming above him like a cape. 6.4 THE GROUND. 7.0 the cap floats down and lands by his hand. SHOTS: the pose low and heroic; the hem in close; the three climbing cuts; the hood POV; the handheld run; the fall from above (top-down, the coat a burning cape); the impact from low; the cap landing. GORE LADDER: XT: side, low at his face, rolled upright: the body broken by the fall (one leg folded under at the wrong angle with the thigh bone through the burnt trouser, the arm snapped at the forearm), the face burnt to the teeth with the cooked eye, the hands burnt to the bone clutching the collar fused into his neck, the coat burning under him spread like a cape, blood spreading, the cap at the edge of frame. VH: the hand-drawn top-down insert down the drop (kept): his body far below sprawled in the burning coat spread like a cape, the dead face looking up. H: face down, from his boots: the coat over his back burning. M: from behind his head: face up, unbroken, X eyes, the cap by his hand. L: he lands in a pile of cardboard boxes, sooty, dazed. VL: he stops at the edge windmilling; the burning coat slips off and falls alone; he is left in his vest, singed, alive. DETAIL PLAN: the coat as a cloth sim with a burning edge (the fire front eating up it), the hood of fire as a bold shape, the fall with the streaming cape, impact dust; the compound fracture as a real wound (torn trouser, bone, blood).